Case studies

Foster carers

Val:

Val has fostered for five years and lives in Aylesbury Vale. She is a single parent, with grown-up children, and is an approved foster carer for two children aged 0 to 6 years. She has fostered a number of sibling groups. She says:

"I was looking through the local paper and saw an advert about fostering. I thought that it was something I would like to do, but I still gave it a lot of thought before I enquired about it, but I’m glad I did.

I’ve had a mixture of children. One little mixed race boy was with me for three years. Although he was very difficult, with lots of support he became a very happy and lovely child who I still see occasionally which is very rewarding.

I also had two siblings for quite a while, and when mum had another, the social worker wanted to keep them together, so I offered to have all three of them. I thought it was important for them to stay together, and they wanted to be together so they could bond as a family. I would not have liked to see them separated. I’ve had others as well who would not cope if they were parted, so I will always keep them together, after all, happy children make fostering a lot easier for them and for me.

I get upset when they leave, but then if I didn’t, perhaps I should not look after them, because all they require is for me to care about them the same as I did for my own children."

Janice:

Janice has been fostering for about three years. She says:

"Jennifer came into our family just over three years ago. She was a 19-month-old toddler who has experienced a very traumatic start to her early life. There were many reasons why Jennifer was placed with us, but one of the underlying reasons is that our family met her cultural needs as she is a child of dual heritage background like my own children.

I feel it is important that children, who may already be disadvantaged, are placed with people who can meet their needs by positively reflecting their own culture. Caring for a child that is not your own is not necessarily an easy job, but there is great pleasure and satisfaction to be gained from being able to give of yourself by providing a child with a chance which they may not have otherwise had."

Terry and Jenny:

Terry and Jenny have been foster carers for approximately four years. They live in the Wycombe area and are approved for one teenage placement and one respite placement. Jenny says:

"We had thought about fostering for several years and eventually phoned the family placement team after seeing an advert in the local newspaper. We have always had lots of teenagers around and felt this was an age that was so important. We thought we had something to offer. Sometimes it is difficult, but we’ve had excellent training and plenty of support from our Family Placement worker. We feel it is so rewarding being part of a team helping young people with their first steps to living on their own - a daunting thought for any teenager. I would certainly encourage people who have been thinking about fostering for some time, as we were, to make further enquiries, as we have certainly found it very worthwhile."

David:

Not all foster carers are part of a conventional two-parent family. David is a case in point.

"Hello, I am David, I’m single and have been a foster carer with my cousin for nearly four years. My parents fostered and it was something I always wanted to do. For ten years I cared for terminally ill relatives and, when they died, I wanted to use my experience of caring for others. We have had three teenage lads so far. Although we are an unconventional family, I feel it is good that there are single male and female carers as there are young people who benefit from what we offer. It can be a demanding task to foster young people in this age group, but I feel enormous pleasure and pride in seeing them develop self-confidence, self-respect and hopefully make a success of their lives. With my current placement now doing well at college it more than makes up for any problems I have had."

Children

Many of the children placed with our foster carers arrive confused and angry. Foster carers face a difficult but rewarding challenge - helping the child to settle, setting appropriate boundaries and establishing a routine that will enable the children to realise their potential. Whatever the length of a placement, as a carer you will have made an important contribution to the child's life.

Here are comments made by children placed with foster carers

"I used to be naughty when I first arrived, as I was used to getting away with things at home. My foster carers have helped me to behave better."

"It was strange at first, being part of a big family, nothing like my own, but the foster carers own children have accepted us as part of the family which makes things much easier for us. I am relieved that I’m placed with my younger brother as we have always been together through everything."

"I didn’t know I was intelligent. No-one ever told me or expected anything of me until I moved to my foster carers."

"If we have problems our carers listen to what we have to say - there is nothing to be afraid of here, it’s safe."

"I guess fostering is a job, but my carers don’t treat it like a job as far as I’m concerned. As far as I can see, they really care for me."

"It’s scary when you first arrive. On the first night I was really nervous, but then I got used to the family and now I think it’s really great. We are all totally accepted as part of the family, and that includes grandma and granddad. That’s particularly nice as I’ve never had a granddad before."